“Heh mfethu besendilebele noyilibal’ iPremier League mna”Loyiso Gola, Emmy-nominated stand-up Comedian and massive Arsenal fan
Comedian Loyiso Gola really likes English side Arsenal and has also been fortunate enough to attend their home games at the Emirates Stadium over the years, while based in the UK.
I know him more for his love for sports, specifically basketball and idiski, that’s back when we were young teens in Cape Town before the comedy.
He got to see one of their last home games in February, before the Covid 19 outbreak that has forced the whole world to lockdown.
“It’s so crazy because, I think it was the second last or third last game yeArsenal idlala neEverton,” he explained. “It was so crazy cause ndingene, if you watch the game, go online on YouTube uyojonga lagame, we ended up winning 3-2.
iGoal yok’qala ingena ndingekangeni, uyayibona lookaka Mjaka! So gen’ eStadium iscore sithi 1-0 yesis!A frustrated Loyiso Gola on missing Dominic Calvert-Lewin’s first minute strike.
He adds that he’s concerned about the Gunners and it’s not only about the lack of results on the pitch, but the things are happening off it as well.
“For instance, aph’ evekini Mjaka, kuthiwa in the two seasons zikaDavid Luiz, kuthiwa simbhatale 26 meter! 26 meter in two seasons,” he says shockingly on the news that David Luiz is on 13 million per year at Hornsey Road.
“Come on, come fresh nawe Mjaka mfethu,” 26 million for David Luiz in two seasons!
This was all before Tuesday’s match against Manchester City, white the Brazilian defender had a nightmare of a night in the 3-0 defeat.
He flips the conversation with “but then I try to understand why, remember Arsenal is struggling to get an experienced defender. I think that’s the issue.”
His then breaks down how the David Luiz deal made sense and highlights that it was easier. He points out William Gallas who made the controversial switch from my favourite English side Tottenham to his favourite Gunners and then Chelsea.
“When you consider all those things, even if you think of Wilfred Zaha’s deal. Zaha is a Crystal Palace player, which is a London team. You see that deal, it’s a very specific thing ladeal.
“It’s not that Pepe is doing badly, but because he didn’t cost 30 meter. Cause kwi30 meter we can be patient with you, but xa zisithi 70 meter, ‘hay’ kaloku mfethu maz’dume first season kaloku.”
He picks out the rumours linking the Northon Londoners to Philippe Coutinho and Julian Draxler. He believes Coutinho is a better option of the two, because of his Premier Legue experience.
Neither of them are what we need.Loyiso Gola on Coutinho and Draxler rumours.
We compare Draxler’s move from Schalke to PSG to our mate Thando Mngomeni’s deal to join Mamelodi Sundowns and Reyaad Mahrez’s move to Leicester and then Manchester City.
We go off the record for a little bit and our line cuts. I pour myself a glass of milk 🥛 and grabbed a few cookie 🍪
We reconnect with “masingaphum’ emxholweni walento size ngayo”.
He proceeds to tell me about how a childhood friend Columbus, “thina majita simbiz’ uMpoza, ngumjita waseKhaltsha. Mpoza Columbus Mawisa, aw’thi yam”, got him to like Arsenal.
“Sasihlala sobay2 sithethe ngeArsenal. Sasichazwa yilento yokuba yiTeam full of African players. OoKanu, ooViera, Henry, Wiltord, Lauren.
He says he has excepted that his beloved Gunners could miss Uefa Champions League football for the next two years.
“Sometimes you have to build gradually towards these things. Arsenal never has the full competent squad available at the same time.”
He backs Mikel Arteta as “the best option for Arsenal” and the guy who will get them back into contention in the next two years.